iwannabeamilf:

looks like it leads to the ocean to me.
fuckin’ lying door.

It actually leads into someone else’s mind.

iwannabeamilf:

looks like it leads to the ocean to me.

fuckin’ lying door.

It actually leads into someone else’s mind.

(via ihaveabutt)

♫I know what you’re doing
I see it all to clear
I only taste the saline
When I kiss away your tears

You really had me going
Wishing on a star
The black holes that surround you
Are heavier by far

I believed in your confusion
So completely torn
Must have been that yesterday
Was the day that I was born

Not much to examine
Nothing left to hide
You really can’t be serious
You have to ask me why

I say goodbye

‘Cause I am barely breathing
I can’t find the air
Don’t know who I’m kidding
Imagining you care

I could stand here waiting
A fool for another day
I don’t suppose it’s worth the price
The price that I would pay 

thatonedanklark:

Offered without comment.

HE JOCK IT MADE OF STEELEATS SUSHI FROM A PAILJET JAGUAR? JET JAGUAR!HIS MOTHER NEVER REALLY LOVE HIM
HE CRIMEFIGHTING COVERS UP A BASIC INSECURITYHE DICKEY COVERS UP AN ADAM’S APPLE THE SIZE OF A TOYOTAHE BASICALLY GOOD-HEARTED, BUT HE’D LIKE TO SMASH THAT KID’S HEAD AGAINST A ROCK
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK
WHO’S THERE?HE FACE LOOK LIKE JACK NICHOLSONDON’T SMILE LIKE THAT, IT’LL STAY THAT WAY
YAMAHAAAAEEEEOOOOOHHH!
…
DON’T TOUCH MY BAGS IF YOU PLEASE, MR. CUSTOMS MAN. 

thatonedanklark:

Offered without comment.

HE JOCK IT MADE OF STEEL
EATS SUSHI FROM A PAIL
JET JAGUAR? JET JAGUAR!
HIS MOTHER NEVER REALLY LOVE HIM

HE CRIMEFIGHTING COVERS UP A BASIC INSECURITY
HE DICKEY COVERS UP AN ADAM’S APPLE THE SIZE OF A TOYOTA
HE BASICALLY GOOD-HEARTED, BUT HE’D LIKE TO SMASH THAT KID’S HEAD AGAINST A ROCK

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

WHO’S THERE?
HE FACE LOOK LIKE JACK NICHOLSON
DON’T SMILE LIKE THAT, IT’LL STAY THAT WAY

YAMAHAAAAEEEEOOOOOHHH!

DON’T TOUCH MY BAGS IF YOU PLEASE, MR. CUSTOMS MAN. 

(via fuckyeahmst3k)

rararamyeon:

catelynstarking:

here is my cover letter, as it currently stands.
i’m not sure why i’m not getting any responses

I wish I could just do this…


Fucking jobs aren’t hard to get, but the benefits suck.

rararamyeon:

catelynstarking:

here is my cover letter, as it currently stands.

i’m not sure why i’m not getting any responses

I wish I could just do this…

Fucking jobs aren’t hard to get, but the benefits suck.

(via orgasmorgy)

heatherface1012:

stfuconservatives:

ruineshumaines:

by Carli Davidson

“These photos of Ramen Noodle are from an ongoing project of differently abled pets I started in 2010. I began to wonder more about the lives of these animals and their owners. These are people who’ve opted to keep their animals alive, to change diapers, to buy apparatuses, to put in extra time, money, and effort to make their friends comfortable.

“I want to show how interesting these animals can be and share some of their amazing stories of survival and recovery. Some of the animals are rescued from abuse and neglect, some are a family pet that has gotten older, or been in an accident. So far all of my stories have ended in what seems to be a very positive symbiotic relationship between animal and owner, and Ramen Noodle is certainly one of these.

“Ramen Noodle was born with four legs. He was probably a mill puppy, inbred to achieve his tiny size. When he was eight months old, his first owner brought him to the vet, with a broken arm. Unfortunately the owner did not properly care for his injury, she didn’t come back to get the cast checked until nine weeks later. At that point, to no ones surprise, the arm was nearly eaten away by gangrene. By then, Ramen Noodle was listless and refused food. It was a wonder he survived.

“After weeks of intensive care, the owner was given the option of signing him over to the clinic or being reported to animal services. ‘I really don’t think his first owner wanted to hurt him. I think they just didn’t understand all the care that goes into having an injured animal,’ recalls Jaime Salata Van Tassel, who had been his clinic caretaker. She adopted him, have already been won over by Ramen while acting as his lead nurse and caring for him in her home.

“A second injury cost Ramen his other front leg, this time he jumped of a chair and broke the bone. Again, one of the effects of interbreeding dogs for small size is week bone, so his single teacup poodle arm broke so badly it could not be mended. While Jaime was devastated, Ramen surprised everyone and bounced back. Three weeks later, he was learning to walk on two legs.

“Ramen gets around the house on his hind legs. I’ve watched him run at full-speed for toys, and to play with other dogs, he is essentially unrestricted despite his lack of front arms. Like any young, happy dog, he loves attention and food.

“Ramen and Jamie show us that a dog can be just as happy as any other pet after an amputation. Jaime can provide real perspective as the owner of a pet with disabilities.

“‘Once they’re healed and they’re running, they never think twice about what happened to their arm,’ she says. ‘That’s how it was with Ramen Noodle and any amputation I’ve seen. Once the animal gets through the pain and the medication and the understanding that they have to do things a little different, it’s like it never happened.’”

Your daily dose of tear-inducing kindness to animals.

-Jess

Eeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

“I can make it on my own!”

(via toocooltobeinteresting)

So much potential Or so we used to say Your greed, self-indulgence, and your arrogance Pissed it all away

magiciansassistant:

shes a runner, rebel and a stunner.

♬Lookin’ down the barrel of a hot metal 45
Just another way to survive ♬

Replace a word from a movie with “gay sex”

xjessicles:

sinidentidades:

ghostwishes:

idowhatiwantthor:

luciferswhiteloafers:

ocd-reality:

citrineviolin:

sherlockthecockblock:

yourmomgivesgoodheadcanon:

causalspoilers:

existenceintheclouds:

testingapparatus:

mellofever:

anglofag:

bonnefoy:

Howl’s Gay Sex Castle 

Gay Sex Submarine

The Princess and the Gay Sex

Pirates of the Gay Sex

Pan’s Gay Sex

Repo! The Gay Sex Opera

omg giggles

Idiana Jones and the temple of Gay Sex

Captain Gay Sex

The League of Extraordinary Gay Sex

The Men Who Stare At Gay Sex

Gay Sex Hawk Down

Emperor’s New Gay Sex

Gay Sex: The Movie

Dude, Where’s My Gay Sex? 

Gay Sex in Paris

Gay Sex is Beautiful

Or, alternately

Life is Gay Sex

homestargifs:

IN 24 GREAT-SMELLING COLORS!!!

(via teababe27)